Why Do We Fall in Love? The Purpose of Love Explained

photo of woman and her children lying on bed
Woman making heart symbol with hands.

Falling in love feels like something that happens to us, even though it’s something we do. We choose to fall in love with someone, and this choice has both physiological and psychological origins. We seek out the experience of falling in love because the hormones involved are pleasurable and can help us bond with other people, which makes our lives better in many ways. Whether you’re currently in love or want to know more about how this complex emotion works, keep reading to learn why we fall in love and why it’s such an important part of our existence as human beings.

Unconditional Love

There is a reason why humans are called social animals. Like other animals, we seek out companionship, but unlike other animals, we seek to connect with one another on an emotional level. One explanation for why humans do this comes from attachment theory: Babies who experience secure attachments during infancy are more likely to form healthy relationships as adults because they learn that their caregivers will be around to meet their needs. Similarly, adults who form secure bonds with others create stronger friendships and romantic relationships by fostering feelings of trust and security within their companions. This kind of emotional bond is called unconditional love. It means accepting someone—flaws and all—without judgment or expectation.

Personal Freedom

In order to fall in love, you have to be able to freely give your heart to another. This involves being completely unattached and not caring about anyone else’s opinion of your love life (or lack thereof). It also means that you can love someone without having any romantic expectations; after all, if there’s a question of whether you’ll have enough money or status to survive, how can you truly know if it’s love and not simply dependency on another person for survival? Falling in love is supposed to be fun and exciting—not scary or anxiety-inducing. When we feel free from concern about our safety and security, we are free to open up emotionally, experience new connections with other people and let them into our hearts.

Self-Esteem Boost

In general, people seem to have a skewed view of what love is. They think it’s all about romance, or what their parents or friends have told them that it’s supposed to be like. You can probably see where things are going wrong: most people don’t seem to know exactly what love is, but they sure do want to experience it. And when they get into a relationship expecting one thing and getting another, if everything doesn’t match up with their expectations, guess who gets blamed? That’s right—themselves!

Survival of Species

One of the main reasons we fall in love is to promote our survival. Sure, we have a lot of love-type feelings that don’t relate to survival at all—but when it comes down to it, in youth, we are looking for someone who can protect us and help us produce babies.  All in all, our minds play tricks on us and make some pretty unrealistic expectations when it comes to a significant other; however, being picky about potential mates is not just a woman thing. Men tend to choose women based on their reproductive value as well, meaning that women with clear skin, vibrant hair color, and youth tend to be more desirable than women who show signs of aging.

Nothing Lasts Forever

No matter how much we love someone, there’s always going to be a moment when they hurt us. Sometimes it’s by accident and sometimes it’s not, but either way, we end up wondering if it was all worth it. Maybe you’re wondering whether your relationship is meant to last forever or if you just caught that special someone at a vulnerable time for them. This is when your purpose for love comes into play because when you understand why you love him/her in the first place, you can see if it still holds true or not. You can learn what your reasons are behind loving someone and see if those reasons have changed now that things aren’t new anymore.

Marriage and Kids Are Different

While some people believe that marriage and kids are prerequisites for love, that’s not actually true. True love can exist without either (or both) of those. Consider it like two different pools of water with their own separate ends: You can still dip your toes into one without automatically jumping into the other. In other words, you don’t have to be married or have kids to experience loving relationships or loving life. Likewise, you don’t have to fall in love with a man or woman just because you want to get married—in fact, there are many wonderful things about single life! So why do we feel like we must do certain things because that’s how our culture defines them? It all comes down to what we choose as our end goal.

Money Makes it Easier

Humans will do just about anything for love, but for many people, financial security is a major turn-on. You may have noticed that even people you consider crazy or irrational tend to date other financially stable individuals. (This might explain why someone like Jeff Bezos is romantically appealing.) Psychologists say that money doesn’t buy happiness—but it does make life easier–outside of living off the land. If your partner can afford to take care of all your needs, then you’ll be less likely to feel stressed out and unhappy—and more likely to see him or her as a good partner for life.


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Ubuntu Village will be traveling to Africa soon and we would like to document this trip and any other trips taken in a blog format.

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