Abstinence in a hostile relationship: Ignore or be amorous?

a couple head to head while smiling

Hiding under the covers and pretending your significant other doesn’t exist may seem like an easy solution, but it’s not the healthiest one. To cope with abstinence in a hostile relationship, you need to find ways to navigate around your partner’s behavior. While being amorous isn’t always the solution, sometimes it’s worth trying if it improves your quality of life. Check out these helpful strategies for coping with abstinence in a hostile relationship without ignoring your partner entirely or being amorous all the time.

If they’re ignoring you

It can be challenging to feel ignored by your significant other, especially if you’re used to being close. But there are ways to cope. First, try to understand why they’re ignoring you. It could be that they’re going through something themselves and need some space. Or it could be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. If you can’t figure out why they’re ignoring you, talk to them about it.

woman standing next to a man with her arms crossed
Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

If they respond negatively

It can be challenging to deal with abstinence in a hostile relationship. You may feel like you have to choose between ignoring your significant other or trying to be amorous despite their behavior. However, there are other options available to you. If you’re struggling, here are some coping skills that may help you deal with the situation.

1) Abstain from interaction.

2) Focus on what makes you happy and forget about them for a while.

3) Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, and good nutrition.

4) Keep an emotional journal where you write down how you feel when they’re behaving poorly and use it as a source of healing for yourself.

If they’re unhappy but don’t seem upset

If you can understand what’s causing their unhappiness, you may be able to find a way to work through it together. If they’re unhappy but don’t seem upset, it may be because they’re worried about how you’ll react. You might not have enough information to help them feel better. Ask questions to fill in the blanks in your mind. You can offer encouragement and support without making promises that might disappoint them later on if you change your mind.

If they’re content

The best way to deal with abstinence in a hostile relationship is to try and be content with the situation. This can be challenging, but it is important to remember that you are not responsible for your partner’s happiness. If they are content with the situation, then there is no need for you to try and change it. However, if you find that you are struggling to be content, there are a few things you can do to try and improve the situation. First, talk to them about how you feel and let them know their behavior is affecting you. They may not have realized what their actions were doing to you, so this conversation may help them understand how their behavior affects others. Second, take care of yourself. Remember to make time for activities that bring joy and take care of your mental health by talking to friends or therapists when needed. Finally, keep trying!

If all else fails

If you’ve tried everything else and you’re still struggling to cope with abstinence in your relationship, it might be time to take a step back and reassess the situation. It could be that your relationship is simply too strained to continue and that abstinence is the best thing for both of you. However, if you still care for your partner and want to make things work, try taking a more proactive approach to coping with their behavior. That might mean saying something like I’m sorry I made you angry and then staying out of their way until they calm down. Other times, it’s better to confront them directly about what they did wrong and ask them to change so that they don’t do it again.  What coping mechanisms would you use?  Please add your comments below.–MM


Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount


Or enter a custom amount:


Your contribution is greatly appreciated. Thank you. All monies received will be used to help our programs’ neediest.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.


1 Comment

What are your thoughts?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Kindly check out our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages by clicking the icons below:



Ubuntu Village will be traveling to Africa soon and we would like to document this trip and any other trips taken in a blog format.