Community Power · Health & Wellness · Ubuntu Philosophy
To be met as yourself, rather than as the body you arrive in, is not a small courtesy. It is most of what belonging means.
Luciano Serrisi has used a wheelchair since 1990, when a car accident broke his neck. In the essay below he writes about the gap between how people see him and who he actually is, and about finding rooms where his words arrived before his chair did. We publish it in his voice, unedited. — Ubuntu Village
The Best Connection I’ve Ever Had
By Luciano Serrisi
I am a quadriplegic who has been wheelchair-bound since 1990 after breaking my neck in a car accident. I am one of those people who other people always seem to have trouble connecting with. I think it’s because I use a wheelchair; when people see me, they assume I’m helpless, stupid, or need them to speak slower or louder than usual. Of course, that’s not true at all.
I was always a pretty social person, and I always loved having long, deep conversations with people. Those conversations don’t happen much in person anymore, unfortunately. People are intimidated by me, or they think that because I need a wheelchair, I can’t have a normal conversation with them. That’s sad because I have so much to offer.
I have a college degree. I have traveled the world. I have worked in several different fields. I have friends all over the world. I am a pretty interesting guy! But when people see me, they see the wheelchair first, and then they see me as an afterthought. For years, I have struggled to make connections and to have the kind of deep conversations that I crave.
I started using the internet several years ago, and I quickly discovered that it was the perfect place for me to connect with people. I could chat with people without them knowing I was in a wheelchair. I could be judged on the merits of my words and my thoughts, not on my physical appearance.
I was able to have the long, deep conversations that I loved and craved, and I found that people really responded to me when they didn’t know about my wheelchair. I made some great friends online, and I even found a community of people who understood what it was like to live with a disability. –LS
A Note From Ubuntu Village
Ubuntu holds that a person becomes a person through other people. Luciano’s account needs no commentary from us, but it does ask something of the rest of us — to notice who we find ourselves speaking slower and louder to, and to ask why. Guest writers publish here in their own words.
Community is the medicine.
True connection is a human right — not a privilege awarded to those whose bodies conform. Ubuntu Village holds that conviction at its core, building communities where everyone is seen, heard, and valued. Help us keep building that world.
DonateRelated: The Feed Is Not Neutral: Algorithmic Suppression and the Communities It Was Built to Silence
Michele Mitchell is the Founder, President & CEO of Ubuntu Village Inc., a 501(c)(3) nonprofit with programs in Kenya, Uganda, and Nigeria. A writer, advocate, and community strategist working at the intersection of ancestral wisdom, public health, and community power, Michele leads Ubuntu Village’s work to center communities as the protagonists of their own healing. She writes from the conviction that science and spirit are complementary, that healing is relational, and that community is the medicine. Read more about Michele, or connect with her on LinkedIn.
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