The Best Connection I’ve Ever Had – By Luciano Serrisi

The importance of human connection is undeniable.

One day, I found myself dating a girl who used a wheelchair. As soon as we started getting to know each other, we both noticed there was a profound bond, a connection between us—one born out of empathy and understanding.

In those first few moments together, my date challenged me to push her around in her chair. This was so I could see what it was like to navigate life from her perspective. It taught me about never underestimating anyone just because they happen to use a different kind of mobility aid than you do. This thought really affected me when I didn’t need one at all anymore. Seeing firsthand how complex daily tasks can be when you’re living with limitations utterly alien from my own was eye-opening. This sort of understanding signifies a deep connection.

But eventually – without even realizing it – our shared experiences became normal. Our lives were no longer about what differentiated or pulled us apart, but rather what brought us closer together. We were united by intense understanding mixed with love for others who may share similar challenges in their lives. Indeed, such experiences forge a connection that transcends individual differences.

Times and stories change – we no longer go out, but I still have a wheelchair. When I can, I like to compare it to others who have wheelchairs and sit atop one while continuing to understand the difficulties of those who use one every day. With these challenges under my belt, it feels good to know that these physical tasks are within my power now. Even if they are subtly different, the ongoing contest with disability requires a connection to one’s strength and perseverance. Sometimes it is frustrating, yet it’s rewarding when you overcome limitations.

I know, to many this may seem strange: in the face of diversity, most prefer to turn away and say, “oh, poor thing,” I say, “ohhh… look how cool! “. And because of this attitude of mine, I discover a world of people who have literally bewitched me. Some will understand me without fail. Others won’t see what all the fuss is about. But when they look closely enough, they’ll see something else entirely. They’ll see someone learning new hacks to accomplish everyday goals while playfully challenging herself. She continues until she succeeds again against all odds set before her. What seemed strange to some became engrossing for others. From curiosity came acceptance. From success came community. A community built on the foundation of shared connection.–Luciano Serrisi

Empathy is Learnable: An Analysis of Four Empirical Experiments